Future Federal President: The problematic BFF

She should be down-to-earth, the future Federal President. This has been read everywhere about Ilse Aigner in the past few days. Down to earth – what does that mean? Harry Kane is supposed to be down to earth. No, not much is known about the woman who was said to be able to repair a helicopter. So she had to deal with helicopters and still didn't take off. That's not a bad thing.

Sure, she's in the CSU and from Upper Bavaria, where the Bavarians are known to be particularly Bavarian. In any case, Islam does not belong to Upper Bavaria, nor does it belong to Germany. Aigner once said that. And otherwise? No, not much is known about Ilse Aigner's political consciousness. She has rarely positioned herself correctly, even if she has fined some AfD bullies as President of the Bavarian State Parliament.

What else we know about her: She is friends with Monika Gruber, the Bavarian comedian who, together with Harald Martenstein, Monika Maron and Henryk M. Broder, wrote about her journey to the right in the book “When thinking changes direction”. It was now reported that the two single women had even talked about setting up a retirement community later on. Does this perhaps provide a crucial clue as to what Aigner is thinking?

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You can't even imagine how the two of them would giggle together at the breakfast table in their shared apartment. Maybe about this good old heat pump joke from the Gruberin, as the comedian likes to be called: "In a few years we'll have to throw away our functioning heaters and install heat pumps for which we don't even have any tradesmen, because the young people prefer to work on the streets instead of learning something decent." Dieter Nuhr couldn't have said it better.

Maybe the two of them also talk about their self-perception as women. There will then be no “gender nonsense”, as the female grubber always says. “Is it even allowed to say ‘woman’ anymore?” she once asked herself and added: “I am a gender fluid person with an unused birthing device.” There won't be a dry eye in there. Then maybe some transphobic joke from the dark world of wild Wokistan, then the white sausage for breakfast in the Gruber-Aigner shared apartment tastes good even when there is no more sweet mustard in the house.

Maybe they'll talk about the Greens and laugh about how they dutifully rallied behind Aigner in front of the Federal Assembly. In a recent interview, Gruber described the Greens as a “totalitarian climate and warmongering sect”. Too much of a good thing?

It's quite possible that Aigner will contradict this. "Moni and I don't always agree when it comes to political issues. But that's okay and a friendship has to endure that," Aigner told the Bild newspaper. Then we'll be at peace.

Hopefully the two will not agree on the subject of vaccinations. Because the grubber says on By the way, she joined the disgusting platform in 2024, long after Elon Musk took it over. She describes herself as a “Joe Rogan fangirl”.

The future Federal President has friends like that. It's good that she's at least down to earth.