Praise for e-scooters: Fast, maneuverable, free

The doctor in the Vienna accident hospital looks sympathetic. "Three teeth, cracked bruise at the top. Lip almost through at the bottom. How did that happen?" she asks. “E-scooter,” I answer in monosyllables through my inflatable lips. Today, a year later, I am more of a rental scooter enthusiast than ever. I have now driven 1,247.7 kilometers with Lime alone, exactly 520 trips.

The little green things first appeared in my life as objects of hate. Suddenly there were these obstacles in public space, an imposition financed by nebulous tech capital. Something like this is typical of the state of “post-democracy” as described by the British political scientist and sociologist Colin Crouch: In no democratic vote has anyone ever voted for e-scooters. “These things should be abolished!” I thought at the time – without knowing what I was missing.

I experienced my moment of conversion in Palermo when I realized that only a rental scooter would save me from the exhaust fumes of the sweltering, smelly port. The bus to the beach was canceled and taxis cost too much, so I got on an e-scooter. After 12 kilometers I was only charged 11 euros. The first insight: riding a scooter is relatively cheap.

The feeling of being the Nintendo character Luigi on his little green Yoshi never left me even a few weeks later in autumnal Rostock. Because the city is very spacious, I rented a scooter again. I drove first to the city library, then to the beach. A slim nothing underfoot. Speed, maneuverability, freedom. I was almost euphoric. The second insight: riding a scooter is really fun.

Back in gray Berlin, I had to admit to myself that I no longer wanted to be without these things in everyday platforming in the big city. As a child of the 1980s, I grew up with point-and-click adventures, i.e. computer games in which it was often only possible to navigate through the game using unorthodox behavior. In our Blade Runner present, it's no longer possible without a few cyberpunk skills.

A sudden subway failure? Wait, there's a rental scooter there. Shopping or luggage too heavy? No problem, just hang everything on the handlebars.

I recently read in the Spiegel that the fun companions have now become an “important means of transport” and there is even talk of the “young people’s car”. For me, they represent a cultural break in transport: rental scooters are smaller, more maneuverable and cheaper than electric cars. They bring electromobility to a human scale, and that's good. Our cities no longer need Teslas, but rather a sensible closure of the gap to functioning public transport.

Even the bike can't keep up because it's not available everywhere. And some days you just don't want to pedal. Especially in autumn, scootering has its own poetry when you float weightlessly through long avenues early in the morning, past all the Covid and flu waves, with some music in your ears. Just don't do Armin Laschet and break your shoulder, it's better to slow down a little.

A few days ago I was sitting in an electric taxi in Vienna. I ask the driver how he feels about e-scooters and am amazed at his answer: "Look," he says, "every second young person believes he is Superman. But there are too many cars, so the scooters are a relief, they just need to be more strictly regulated." “That’s right,” I say, “plus they should be taken over by the city and made public property.” I'll keep my Armin Laschet moment to myself.