Friedrich Merz | Chancellor destroys Sozen-Leuch!!!

Yes, exactly like that, Mr. Chancellor! Once Klingbeil starts crying, the number of followers increases. Photo: dpa/Sebastian Gollnow The election in Saxony-Anhalt was also a signal to the German Chancellor: In order to annoy him, 43.8 percent of Saxony-Anhalt residents even accept that their country could be ruled by a sleazy room fragrance salesman who wants to turn off the MDR for grandmas and has ruined the good reputation of the Simson KR 51/1 once and for all.

Friedrich Merz has to react now. Apparently his humorous insults to employees didn't quite hit the nerve of the population. The streamer scene, which is close to the AfD, shows how you can win people's hearts as a right-wing person: you simply leave your baseball bat in the closet and pick up your camera and microphone. Then, in compliance with journalistic standards, you push people you don't like around and shout around a bit. It's not hard, but it works!

Andreas Koristka is editor of the satirical magazine “Eulenspiegel”. He writes the column “Supervised Reading” every two weeks for “nd.DieWoche”. All texts at dasnd.de/koristka.

So far, Friedrich Merz has stolen almost every idea from the AfD. Why doesn't he manage to create a channel on YouTube with the nice title "Conservative Man" and stream live how he goes around the streets ranting? In any case, it would be enormously entertaining if the Chancellor were to stroll through the republic's pedestrian zones on the morning of any working day to confront people loitering: "Why aren't you working, you lazy work-life balance pig?" Are you not a real German? Get a job immediately and don't act like you need a walker! Is that a pension proposal, you asshole?!”

If Merz decides to take such an approach, I predict at least two million followers within the first half hour. In the long term, he will become the most successful German content creator. But if the Chancellor continues to forego this, it only proves that he and the entire Union still do not understand the new media.

Their laws are simple: in order to create reach, attention must be attracted. The next time Merz makes a fool of Klingbeil at some cabinet meeting, he has to do it until Klingbeil cries. And he definitely has to film it! You can literally see the YouTube thumbnail in your mind's eye: Merz with his mouth wide open, Klingbeil with his head bowed, three red arrows in between and the headline: »CHANCELLOR DESTROYS SOZEN-LAUCH AT THE COLD BUFFET!!! What happens next changes everything!”

If he's too refined for that, Merz could at least stream a few evocative reports from the German cityscape. Walk a bit through Frankfurt's train station district, film a few beggars and crack addicts, catch pickpockets - all foreigners, of course! – and meaningful silence in between. He then says that the left have personally brought every crack addict to Germany and that he will therefore scream at and humiliate Lars Klingbeil again tomorrow in the live stream (11.30 a.m.). If you want to see Klingbeil shitting his pants in fear, just write it in the comments. Please don't forget to like, share and follow! My God, it's not that hard!

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