Back to the cliche: Dallas in Turkish

I don't just want to make a career in Hall 4, but also in television. Everyone is doing something about foreigners on TV now. I can do that too, I thought, and wrote a romantic comedy for young and old: “Dallas in Turkish”.

I didn't have to look for the figures for long. I took the family of Aybüke, the current girlfriend of my communist son Mehmet.

Aybüke studies psychology at the University of Bremen. Her brother Levent runs a law firm and her parents run a marketing company with 25 employees.

The television producer, Ms. Anne-Maria Scherben-Haufen, is enthusiastic about my romantic-funny family film, but would like to make a few small changes.

“Mr Engin, 25 employees are simply too many for a single Turkish family,” she says.

“How many do you think would be appropriate?” I ask curiously.

"A marketing company without employees? How is that supposed to work?" I ask, confused.

"Mr. Engin, please not a marketing company. A kebab shop would be much more appropriate. Or even better: a tailor shop."

"Yes. And the son could sell kebabs in a corner of the tailor shop."

“The son with the law firm?” I wonder.

"He doesn't have a law firm. He sells kebabs at his parents' tailor shop."

"Oh, I understand. A funny but also socially critical film with an unemployed academic son."

"No, no, the son doesn't even have a high school diploma, let alone a license to practice law. He's unemployed, visits ten different mosques every day and is thinking about joining al-Qaeda."

"Wow! I have to admit, this is really the perfect, chaotic family: the religious brother and the modern sister who has an open relationship supported by the parents."

"Not quite, Mr. Engin. After a while the family summons their son Ali..."

"In the film his name is Ali. That's more familiar to the Germans. You immediately know what it's about. So, the family begs Ali to kill his sister."

"Wow! Another murder. A funny, romantic crime film."

"Yes, by local Turkish standards. So, the religiously fanatical son Ali kills his lewd sister in order to remove the shame from the family with this honor killing."

"Excuse me? Ms. Scherben-Haufen, what shame are you talking about?" I ask, irritated.

“Mr. Engin, the daughter wants to live like a German and is thereby plunging the whole family into misfortune.”

"What a pile of broken glass... I mean, Ms. Shard-Heap, do you really want the successful lawyer Levent... I mean Ali, to kill his sister, the psychology student Aybüke? I don't find honor killing so funny anymore!"

"The sister isn't studying, Mr. Engin. She works in a vegetable shop. And her name isn't Aybüke, but Fatima. That's more familiar to Germans. So, that would finally be something new, wouldn't it?"