The truth: “Weigh diversity!”

An EU directive against greenwashing came into force on September 27th. And Brussels now also wants to take action against pinkwashing. The truth visits the newly founded Federal Institute for Queer Acceptance Testing in Aschaffenburg.

It's the same every year: During the Pride season in summer, the density of rainbows in shop windows and advertising increases. The diversity departments of large companies put their rainbow-colored CSD trucks on the slopes. 2026 could have been the last year, because together with the new EU directive EmpCo (“Empowering Consumers for the Green Transition”) against greenwashing, the EmpCoQ against pinkwashing comes into force. In the future, only those who can prove it will be allowed to advertise queer-friendliness.

"The difficulty is: With greenwashing you can use facts and figures. CO2 emissions can be stated in kilograms, but weigh diversity!", outlines Dr. Manfred Bremmer (he/him), head of the Federal Institute for Queer Acceptance Testing, or BAfqA for short, newly founded in Aschaffenburg, Bavaria, the problem. For this reason, the EU Commission has devised a queer seal of quality (EU standard LGBTQIA*/13/26-08/4).

“Anyone can claim queer-friendliness, but you can’t prove it with a party truck at the CSD. Or a few crocodile tears after an assassination attempt,” explains Dr. Bremmer. “We know: Many people are not as tolerant as they appear to be on the outside.”

This is exactly where the BAfqA comes into play, which carries out company certification in Germany on behalf of the Federal Ministry of Justice and Consumer Protection. We are surprised that the Family Ministry, which is responsible for equality, is not in charge. Dr. Bremmer just laughs. "Between us: LGBTQIA is an acronym with seven seals for Karin Prien. After she turned off the money for queer youth projects, we even had to officially revoke the Colorful Angel from her ministry."

The Colorful Angel. This is the name of the new EU cross seal in a rainbow look: a unicorn with angel wings. “Besides, this isn’t about queer rights, it’s about consumer protection: someone is advertising queerness, so there must be queerness in there too.” We nod and ask Dr. Bremmer bluntly explains how much queerness there is in himself, but the chief queer examiner keeps a low profile. That doesn't matter: "After all, I don't advertise it."

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Let's take a look at the certification process: As a rule, it is companies and authorities that apply for the seal. Dr. Bremmer introduces us to Kim Matthiesen (dey/denen), a young person with a multicolored hairstyle and lots of Pride bracelets. Kim works in operational queer testing. Dey explains to us how they go into companies with queer teams, count the gender-neutral toilets, give diversity training and document cases of demonstrative heteronormativity. In correspondence, Kim (hen/hem) always changes neopronouns to check for sensitivities. Even during our tour, hen seems to exchange the name tag with the preferred pronoun several times. We (we/us) are probably also under observation.

Kim takes us to the test center for tolerance testing. “Yes, yes!!!,” says a man in a boiler suit at a computer console. He just passed the Pride flag test. "On the third attempt! I finally didn't confuse genderqueer and genderfluid anymore!" He is as happy as a snow king because this was the last test module for successful certification. Hermann M. (he/him) is a master plumber and wants to take part in the CSD in Hamburg next year with his family business. “Because: My son is non-binary and I want to prove to him that I accept him as he is.”

Kim (iks/iks)'s facial features harden. Iks turns off the terminal. "Sorry, you just failed. You can retake the exam in a year." Hermann M. collapses. “But…” he whimpers desperately. But Kim is merciless: misgendering means immediate disqualification. "No 'buts'. Please go, Dad." The master plumber leaves the Federal Institute for Tolerance Testing with his head hanging low. Discarded by one's own son, child of the next family member (m/f/d/x).

“We also carry out unannounced tolerance stress tests on site for some customers,” Kim (ser/sem) continues unmoved. How should we imagine them? Dr. Bremmer cites an exemplary audit situation for a major German bank: "A person wearing a dog mask comes to your counter. How do you react?" And how should you react? "Just accept it. As long as he doesn't lift his leg at the ATM." He laughs, Kim looks annoyed: “That was kink shaming, Dr. Bremmer.”

"Humor is not part of my job description," replies Kim (xier/xiem) and continues: "A trainee achieved the highest number of points. He pulled his own mask out from under the counter and then the two of them sniffed and barked at each other until the loan agreement was signed."

“Okay,” says Dr. Bremmer. “It may not have been necessary for the two of them to disappear together into the customer toilet, but on the other hand… it’s kind of customer loyalty.” Kim adds: “Queerness is always a yes to sex positivity.” And we refrain from asking ourselves whether Kim and Co are also testing them.

"All individual results are incorporated into an overall index, which is multiplied by the company's queer coefficient. If the tolerance deviation is ultimately more than minus 0.4, then we will generally no longer, um... tolerate it," explains Dr. Bremmer describes the EU's calculation method. “And what is the queer coefficient?” is what we want to know in conclusion.

"This results from the systematic recording of all queer employees in the company: gays, lesbians, bisexuals, trans*, inter, non-binary and special kinks. The end result should be a diversity rate of at least 17.5 percent." – “Wait,” we interrupt, because an alarm bell is now ringing in our heads: “The companies should keep pink lists, so to speak? What if the AfD comes to power?”

Dr. Bremmer nods: "Good point. Of course, everything is done in accordance with data protection regulations. Besides, under an AfD government you will need these lists anyway. I would classify that as a synergy effect. Think about tomorrow today."

We leave the office really confused and anything but convinced.