The truth: “Cemetery rave followed by blood orgy”

If you want to visit the luminaries of German dark event research, you have to go past artificial spider webs and real plastic skeletons. Financed by a large tour operator, Professor Dieter Unkel and Doctor Detlef Ark are working on the research and development of dark events in the Hanover underground. Truth spoke exclusively to the duo.

Prof. Unkel: Come in – if you dare! Have you noticed the flickering light yet? I programmed it myself.

Prof. Unkel: May I offer you something to drink? Coffee, cola, black tea, blood orange juice?

taz: No, thank you. Let's get started instead. Prof. Unkel, Dr. Ark, what are dark events?

Dr. Ark: In short, these are all organized forms of dealing with dying and suffering, such as Dia de los Muertos in Mexico or the annual hot dog eating contest in Rotenburg. Basically anything that's a lot of fun.

taz: And how do you research these dark events?

Dr. Ark: First of all, let's identify them. Wherever death or its exploitation is celebrated, we examine it as a cultural and social phenomenon.

Prof. Unkel: And categorize it according to the presence of death or the extent of existing taboo violations and permitted publicity. We are currently concentrating primarily on the aspect of commercialization.

Dr. Ark: Using tourism research methods, we shed light on how existing dark events can be better developed or how new dark events can be brought to life.

Prof. Unkel: Dia de los Muertos, for example, in which the deceased are commemorated in a colorful, loud and cheerful way, has been around since ancient Mexican times. Building on our work, a Bloody Mary is now served upon arrival and the deluxe package includes a cemetery party.

Dr. Ark: In addition, it is only thanks to our potential analyzes that there is now glamping at black metal festivals or coffee trips on Remembrance Day. Existing dark events continue to be dead and butter business.

taz: Different from the event building that you mentioned in the preliminary interview?

Prof. Unkel: This is new business, so to speak. For example, our team looks for old mansions worldwide. Then we'll see: Who could be mysteriously killed here? In which room does the mold look particularly scary? We then knit suitable horror stories from this and set up a marketing concept.

taz: So rather small, dark eventualities?

Dr. Ark: I wo! Our last really big coups were whale Timmy - we recommended letting him die particularly slowly in order to fill the hotels on the coast in the off-season - and of course the solar eclipse! How do you get a huge disk into orbit without being noticed? Which researchers need to be bribed? We've been there since 1999.

Prof. Unkel: My mother-in-law's funeral. No, fun. The ascent of the Via Dolorosa. The Franciscans consciously developed it for tourism centuries ago; it is practically a primal dark event.

Dr. Ark: A really nice cemetery rave followed by a blood orgy is still great fun for me.

taz: Do you also work on less peaceful dark events?

Prof. Unkel: For Satan's sake. We'll leave that to the Illuminati's research and development department. By the way, they are sitting under the “Gate to Hell”, this perennial favorite in Turkmenistan. The government has blocked it especially for tourists. A little too on brand, but you didn't get that from me.

taz: Aren't your fingers itching to spin the evil wheel?

Dr. Ark: Yes, yes. It doesn't have to be wars, but we are already on the verge of a manhunt like the “Sarajevo Safaris”.

taz: Prof. Unkel, Dr. Ark, thank you for the interview.