The Truth: The opposite is always true

Recently, the Standing Vaccination Commission (Stiko) alarmed the German public: 30 to 40 percent of preschool children do not have sufficient polio vaccination protection and are therefore exposed to the risk of polio. The older ones of us still remember the oral vaccination campaigns from the sixties and seventies: “Sugar is sweet, polio is cruel”. But of course, like almost everything else, the polio report was in danger of being lost in the maelstrom of news. Until Stefan Oppi came along with his “Pro Polio civil movement”. “Pro polio”? For polio? How crazy can you be?

A little research is enough and the name Oppi appears in various places. For example, as a spokesman for the “Initiative CO4”, which promoted massive emissions of all kinds of carbon gases in 2022 in response to the traffic light’s climate protection plans. CO2 is positive and CO4 is even twice as good.

High time for a visit. A wiry 140-pound man, estimated to be in his mid-50s, opens the door. The combination of the orange-colored mohawk and the traditional jacket immediately catches the eye. "Mr. Oppi - isn't your 'Pro Polio' movement tasteless and cynical? Are you seriously in favor of children getting polio and being disabled for life?" we ask.

“The name is intended to provoke sleeping sheep media like yours,” Oppi replies immediately. "Because such an illness does not exist. It is demonstrably a matter of unfortunate hereditary damage or covered up errors in state delivery rooms, which are then blamed on a made-up illness."

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This sets the tone. We try an objection: “But the Stiko …” But they are obviously a red flag for the comfortable-looking choleric: “They talked us into corona vaccinations! And murdered 90 percent of the population with it!” Please how? "Of course! It's supposed to be systematically covered up - but there are only eight million of us left. The rest died because of the vaccination - just as independent amateur doctors predicted back then. Or what do you think the shortage of skilled workers comes from? Why restaurants and shops have to reduce their opening hours? Why pensions are being cut? Why so many Ukrainians come?"

Our heads are already spinning. Aren't the Ukrainians coming because of the war? "Huh, what war? These are all fake pictures." Does he have any evidence for this? "I don't need it! The government says there's a war in Ukraine - so there's no one there. Law of nature. The government always lies. So the opposite is always true. And the opposite of that too."

A light film of foam forms on Oppi's lips, which his wife lovingly and routinely removes. She introduced herself as Gaby Schmitz. We'll try a little small talk to loosen things up: Where do the different names come from? And does he have Italian ancestors? Our host smiles a little wistfully despite himself.

At 16 he joined the Jusos - and “Oppi” quickly became his nickname. Because he was always in opposition. He constantly attacked the leadership, from the left and right at the same time. And that's why I was excluded again at the age of 17.

“I just can’t help it,” says Oppi, looking almost sad. But then he clenches his fist again: “I would immediately fight a government that implemented my demands.” The foam again. With her handkerchief still in her hand, Ms. Schmitz tries to make herself a little better.

"Sometimes compromises have to be found. Some of our members are pro-Copernicus out of opposition to the Papal Church. Also because of certain evidence. Others reject this mainstream science. That's why our model of the Earth is now that of a hemisphere: one half flat, the other round."

Her husband takes over again: "My Juso nickname eventually became my official stage name. With an entry on my ID card. Originally my name was Stefan Schmitz." Trick question: For this renaming he had to go to an office in the state he despised. With an almost devilish grin, he replies: "And since then I can convict the state of lying at any time. Black and white. All I have to do is show my birth certificate - and then hold up the ID with the name forged by the government next to it."

The oppressive silence doesn't last long. “Among other things, I am a queerulant: there are only two genders and no homosexual relationships.” We look demonstratively meaningfully and investigatively at the two Starschnitt posters whose glow makes the door of the old kitchen cupboard shine: Sahra Wagenknecht and ... Alice Weidel. But our eloquent, accusatory silence unfortunately goes unnoticed.

We've heard enough. When we get up, Oppi holds a cookie jar in front of our noses. “Please donate to the movement.” The “please” may not really fit with his threatening face and the growling of the two Dobermans “Pro” and “Con”. What exactly is the money for? Oppi puffs himself up one last time: "I always park in a no-parking zone. I also accept longer walks to do this. But how much do you think such a consistent stance against it costs?"

One last question: How many members does the Schmitz-Oppi family's opposition movement actually have? A flickering glance to the side, then a defiant, meek statement: “We have a lot of martyrs, especially recently.” We're really shivering for the first time. What kind of martyrs? “We fundamentally disregard government travel warnings.” Oppi's voice almost breaks as he adds: "So many didn't come back." Then the door closes.

Only now do we notice the spy inside - and the adhesive tape used to render it unusable. He even fights his own protections. We take a little grudging respect in the face of such consistent stupidity back into the world beyond the Stefan Oppi borders. And in a fit of stubbornness, we put the paid exit visa he had issued us, contrary to his instructions, not in the box on the left, but in the box on the right. Has Oppi already infected us?