The truth: Berlin noise after noise

The success of the Die Linke party in Berlin, which was prematurely believed to be dead, is - in addition to its committed anti-Semitism, which is traditionally always well received in Germany and brings in a lot of votes - particularly due to its zealous door-to-door campaigning. Did SPD top candidate Steffen Krach misunderstand something?

In any case, a week and a half before the election, he just hosted a house search, as they say today. Because of corruption allegations. In other cities this might lead to all sorts of outrage or calls for his resignation, but in Berlin people are used to worse.

His predecessor in the party copied her doctoral thesis, her husband billed private trips as official business trips - clan crime is one of the most prosperous economic sectors in the capital. You just can't call them that because of something to do with discrimination, otherwise you'll be forced to resign like the former SPD mayor of Neukölln, Martin Hikel.

Because its own staffing levels were gradually thinning out, the Berlin SPD relied on the influx of skilled workers and imported its top candidate, Krach, from abroad. They should have relied on someone from Syria or Ukraine, but instead they brought the man from Hanover, the dark empire of Gerhard Schröder, Carsten Maschmeyer and the Scorpions.

Ultimately, it was necessary to counteract the CDU with something equal in terms of nepotism and sleaze, whose short time in government since the last election, which was repeated not so long ago due to all sorts of mishaps, was not only characterized by an absurd war against cyclists, but also by so many scandals that they do not even fit into this short column, which is why it had to quickly replace the ruling Kai Wegner as the top candidate a few weeks before the polls. Which is perhaps a good thing, because it means you can probably blame him for the recent super data theft at the Senate administration.

Because Wegner stayed true to his sporting style - after preferring to play tennis with his partner, who also happens to be an education senator, during the biggest blackout since the war - he now attended a basketball game while blackmailers published terabytes of confidential information about the city's inmates. The excitement about this is also limited, in Berlin we are used to seeing things pragmatically. If I forget a password again, all I have to do in the future is look it up on the dark web. Practical!

But vote AfD because of all this? We simply answer that with a Green Party poster: "Talk to fascists? Only in court!"